Just so I don't forget...

Thinking, soooooooooo much thinking the past two weeks plus. Thinking bout the future, humankind, the world, myself, what I've been doing, what Im going to do. But mainly, I've been thinking about "The meaning of life". Yeah, I know. The ever big question. Don't know why, all this stuff nags me, eats at my very soul. Haha.....

I guess I sort of lost myself when I was super busy/tired doing all the assignments and uni stuff. Got disillusioned. So I do what I do best in dire times like this, get holed up facing four walls and locking the doors to get down to it.

Exploring ones mind is a fascinating thing indeed. It takes you on strange journeys and dark places. You get faced with the past you love and hate,  truths about yourself you don't want to accept and the issues surrounding mortality. Not to mention the ever feared Future. So according to mainstream psychology, which is mostly based on Freud, we can try to solve all this psychosis  by dwelling deeper to try to understand it. That`s what I've been trying to do for soooooo long. And I happen to chance on this book by Viktor E. Frankl, titled "Man's search for meaning" and it super answered my questions and some others. Deftly ignoring Freud too. Epic, its about time too. The man is so keng. Nazi death camp survivor and all, I don't think anyone can ever fathom the horrors they faced. And to come out of it alive. Respect! And cos he recommended reading Plato's Republic, I am. Just hope can finish it la. Hahaha....

Weird la. This kind of thing just loves happening onto me. Loosing balance, not knowing whats real anymore. And I can't help but to think a lot. But I think its good, all the emo-ing. Cos in the end, I always find the compass that points north again. Just hope I don't loose it to soon :D

Somehow, in the end, it always ends up in choosing from idealistic thinking and cold hard reality. And up till now I have always chosen to walk the line. Its hard, but what isn't. And if it feels right, that's where I stand. So its just great now that everything, well almost everything is crystal clear again. I know which road to take and its the one least taken. Muahahaha....

Feels great to be back again :D

Dear God, just grant me the courage to continue on.

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On another note, I think I just rediscovered friendship and putting more trust in it again. You know like how in primary school, we sign albums before we graduate and everyone loves to write "Friendship Forever". Well, I never believed it. Haha.....call me a pessimist. But I've transfered to soooooo many schools and I knew even then that nothing is forever. But you know, it all boils down to reaching out and getting in touch. Near and far, old and new, they are but a click away. Its down to priorities, I don't think it will ever go all the way, but it's in a higher rung now. Got to thank all the Toyohashi ppl and PPKTJ-nians and all the ppl I've ever known. Its good to have friends all around. Big shout out " I LOVE YOU ALL!" 

Hahaha.......Happy Siaw edi. So more like me :DDDDDDDD