Something called life

As a child i had an inquisitive mind. Words coming out of my mouth were mostly: Why? How? Where? When? But mostly they were WHY? I believe most of us as children were like that as well. I can still picture my parents chagrin when faced with my endless questioning. One particular incident that stands out in my mind would be when i asked my dad bout the stock market. Seems like a really interesting and complex thingamajig, all those figures on the news and pages of it in the newspaper, but i guess that was the last straw. I remember clearly that i was told to wait till i was older to know, as these were adult stuff. And from then on, i told myself that i shall learn to my hearts content all on my own; by any means possible.

And i did. Anything and everything that strikes my hearts fancy shall be looked up. I spend most of my teenage years behind books, poring over books on Science, the occult, world war 1 and 2, supernatural stuff, novels, storybooks, readers digest, and continued on to watching National Geographic, Discovery Channel on TV...... ahhhh....... those were the golden years, when i used to feel exhilarated just by new and exciting discoveries, self styled experiments, discussions with like minded people, lectures by out of the box physic teachers.

But eventually all this would fade. I`ve known. I`ve always known. The inquisitive nature present in all children would eventually fade away, just as the love of playing, of not caring of anything besides the immediate future, the carefree and spirited way we set forth into the world shall fade away and be replaced with jaded, dispirited adults whose care would be of continual survival in a society that ironically restrains and forces it into conformation.

Facing such unpromising events, what does one do? Is that even a question? No doubt the only plausible way would be to eliminate all undesirable causes and return to the enlightened path. Alas, this is easier said than done. Doing so requires moving against the current and in line with theories of science an external force is of course needed. What about an internal one instead? Mind over matter. That's another fascinating prospect.

Why do things complicate itself in the acutest sense as years roll by. No doubt with more responsibility resting on our shoulders, the carefree days are becoming sporadically rare. But it has no right to dampen the mood, there is away against this flow. I know there is and i shall find it.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I think i might have OCD. Or maybe a mild form of it. Eeek..... no! no! Maybe its just perfectionism?

####################################################################

Knowledge or at least some basic knowledge of the the world around us. All its kinks and chinks, what sets it rolling or what makes it tick. Is it not prevalent in all of us to find out the truth? To know how things work? I find it most unbelievable to know people who are clueless on the most basic fact. I mean come on. Can you call yourself an Engineering student if you did not know that electricity is generated by dynamos and there are YES there are present in dams and windmills and all those stuff to convert renewable energy into electricity!!!!!

And there are a myriad of incidents all over the years that i have not bothered to remember since it causes heartburn. Nevertheless, i don`t have any hard feelings nor am i calling myself the smartest geek, in fact i feel stupid and incomparably small when faced with the likes of Nicola Tesla, Mother Theresa and all those people who actually did something with their lives and showed great ingenuity, understanding , compassion , were self sacrificing and were not afraid to hold values that were different. Most importantly, they put what they believed in into action and i am greatly humbled by their courage.

*************************************************************************************

Sometimes, i feel as small as an ant, or feel as scared as a mouse. The world is to huge, the possibility endless and i am just a nano stick figure moving across the page.