Blah...

Super long time since I`ve been blogging. Did not have the luxury nor the desire to to so for a long time. Wonder if I should continue writing here, but im here now so how? Seems a waste to let it go and its a good outlet. Always has been. But all the words and letters on the screen is just so irritating. Months of void to be filled. The past seems a mundane vapid life when reread.

Been at two minds bout lots of things recently. I wonder what it means? Moving to a new place does indeed free one of past restrictions and ways of thinking. Strands of thoughts seem to weave in new directions and form new patterns. Glad for it. Change is ever so welcome in my life.

But I`ve been detecting changes that are somewhat discomforting. Can`t decide on it yet and im wondering if it needs to be kicked out. What to do, what to do. I`ll just let it sit and see.

Blah...

Escape.

I want to run away, away from all my work.

In denial. Not good.

I've been busting my ass off. But then its still not enough.

Ass...

I know. Life is hard.

I want to go snowboarding. I wanna learn skateboarding. I wanna go bungee jumping. I wanna sing my heart out. I wanna get a tattoo. I wanna paint on a hugeass wall. I wanna go travel. I wanna live!

Ish...

I hope I can get all my work done.

Just numb everything and get going.

Sigh.... only two more years to go.

If only I study like how I draw!

My dad used to say ' If only you study like how you read storybooks, I will be very happy'. Heard this almost every time we get back from the library with new books. Nose in book, I would be in happyland, oblivious to the world for hours on end.

If only I have that kind of concentration power when I study or do my sotsuken.

JOYCE!!! Do sotsuken! Dun simply go and do oooliaw stuff liaw!

Wahhhhhhhh...........

I cannot Tahan.

People who poke their noses into other ppls business. Think they are so fucking right because of what they can see and discern when that is actually just a small part of the spectrum.

People who have such narrow thinking, they can only see what is in front of their noses.

People who only care of themselves and what they can get from others. Downright selfish and its so ugly.

People who only care about their outer appearance. Fawn and do drastic stuff to themselves all in the spirit of appearing good to others. Sure its important to a certain extend, but its not everything.


See no evil, hear no evil.


If only its easier done then said. I don`t need another distraction in my already cluttered mind. Need to learn to control my train of thoughts better.

Another thing, have you ever heard that what you hate most in others is usually found in yourself. Man, that`s scary. I shudder at the thought of committing all those mentioned above.

Argh, tonikaku no more distractions needed. I need to focus!

Argh!!!!!!

Today is another one of those days where you just wanna go ARGH!!!
Scream it out loud as long and as hard as possible.
Just as so to feel better.
But cannot la, cos the walls are too thin.

So,

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

o.O?

Why are humans so like that?

Like wat?

Evil, gossipish, egoist, think they very smart/know everything, think they can read ppls mind, selfish, irresponsible..............

Like that like that lah. Its been going on for centuries. Nothing you do can change it.

Why bother?

and life goes on......

:P

Do not read this.

Wanna take a moment to destress.
Too much work going on these past weeks.
Reports, Sekkei, and little kadai`s all jumbled up.
Minus schooling hours and there`s only about 7hrs left till bed time on a weekday.
Cook, eat, washup, bath, wash baju, general pottering about cleaning, take away 2 hours.
Left with 5 hrs to do work.
But is it possible to use up every minute of it doing work?
Inevitably, I would succumb to on9 surfing, reading my latest book or stg.
But is that bad?
I can`t be expected to do work 24/7 right?
Humans need recreation too!
What more CNY!
Ok then, give you 1 hr recreation time.
Slot em in between work time.
Happy?
Now left wif 4 hrs.
0.0
4 hrs is not a lot.
Wanna study also no time to study.
Ok then, cut sleeping time.
How long?
1, 2 hrs kua.
Hah, sure or not?
ya lah, try lor.
ok....
..............
Hi, so how was it?
.......
Hello?
...yawn.......sigh...
Cannot la, tired. Almost konked in class, lucky got a grip on myself.
Breaktime, quick quick drink coffee.
Next day, fail mati-matian. Got this teacher who`s retiring right so had a last lecture. In AVA room, you know, heater on, nice and cosy, room is darkened for presentation, teacher drooning on and on and on......before I know it conked till almost the end. First time in my life. I conked so bad! And its a last lecture for this teacher who has taught for 38 yrs. Fail man me.
So how?
Duh, cannot cut sleep la dude.
Make proper use of your 4 hrs.
Helloooo, there`s something called a weekend.
Weekend? Weekend?
I`ll tell you bout weekends.
Weekends are usually filled up wif stuff that either:
A. Im forced to go.
B. I dun wanna go, but if I don`t it won`t look good. You know la.
C. Im gently nudged, pushed, cajoled into going.
D. Me conking out in bed.
E. Ok la, occasionaly there`s stuff I wanna go to one la.
So, so, so.........
How? You tell me how la.
4 hrs lor, u know, the 4 hrs.......
:P




I told you not to read edi wat. If you end up with a headache not my problem k.



p/s: This took half and hr of recreation time. :D

Rant

I cannot take it anymore.
I just have to spill it out.
What is it with not keeping promises?
You might be busy, you might not be, but still, a promise is a promise.
I am also busy.
Yet I find time to do it.
I give it my all.
What do you expect from me?
More?
Or maybe not at all.
I bet you just don`t care don`t you.
I am disappointed at all of you.
Or maybe I placed to high hopes.
Maybe it is to remind me to never trust anyone but myself.
As I have often felt.
Do I set the bar too high?
I don`t think so.
It is just natural.
For me at least.
Disappointed.
I am.
Please redeem yourselves.
I beg of you.
How do you plan to grow and enter society like that?
I will continue to observe.
As I always do.
Don`t act like you don`t know, there are always eyes on the walls.

Sometimes...

Sometimes it is good to step out of your own comfort zone and challenge yourself,
sometimes it might be a better idea to stick with what you are familiar with.

Sometimes it is nice to have a listening ear,
sometimes its better to rough it out alone.

Sometimes when working in a team you get mad at uncooperative members,
sometimes you just have to chill and work with what you have.

Sometimes things don`t work the way you want it to work,
sometimes you just have to try and try harder.

Hellooooooo

Back to school for like 1 week plus and it already feels like a month. Haha..... many many things to do. Sometimes i don`t even know which one to start with first. Just passed up my report today so im very happy, hence the post. Trying not to think of the new one to do and the pile of work on my desk at the same time though.

Anyways, I keep thinking of this phrase "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" Its true. I even came up with a tune and a slap dash song on one of my happy tralala optimistic days.

Had Kosensai meeting today. The Japs are rilled up on keeping the food clean again. For a good reason too. Too many food poisoning articles in the news these days. Oh... i really do hope everything will be ok. Hatching a plan for a meeting sometime this week. :D

Oh..... and im happy to announce Korean trip this winter. :DDDDDDDD Drools..... for many many reasons. Korean food, a white Christmas, Korean men, shopping, sightseeing and the best part of all, doing it with great company. :D Oooooo.... and i must must tell you of Jang Geun Suk. I absolutely adore him. Haha.... no la. Kidding only, but close >.<

This is totally random, but i found out when in Tokyo that Snoopy Town in Harajuku has been shut down!!! How come? Why? I thought lots of ppl shopped there? Where am i going to go when i want to get a Snoopy fix? USJ? Whines....... doesn`t everyone love Snoopy? Poor Snoopy...

Lets talk bout GG. I`ve been reading comments and im wondering why everyone is supporting B and bashing S. Really, both of them have done their share of bad deeds. Can`t wait for next ep. Wanna see the claws out and hopefully B getting together with Chuck in the future. :D

Okies, enough of games. Ciao. Im going to hit the books. Till next time.

Im Pissed off !!!

After lots and lots of incidents and many many sessions of calming myself down, i still get really pissed off. I wonder why. I was usually the person who calms ppl down, not get mad.

You know I know they are super strict and follow the rules and like everything to be spic and span. But you know what? I do too!!! Im a perfectionist after all. Ya, so i totally understand all the rules about keeping things clean, making no noise in my own room, not decorating my own door, labeling your own food, i even tolerate the not using the kitchen after 12pm, not putting detergent in the washing area just to keep it looking neat, and to some extend try to keep the dishes in order. But really the last one is a bit insane. I mean, if you use those stuff everyday, its crazy to store it in your room right? Ya.... everything you own is suppose to be kept in your own room, so to speak. And guess wat? Stuff left out will be used and eaten by others. What kind of rule is that???? Smells like someone wants a free ride.

I think this is taking everything to a whole new level. In fact, it becomes so tedious i wonder why some of the rules are being implemented.

Worst off would be the fact that some follow and some don`t and some parties get the heat more than others if you get what i mean. The snide remarks, the passive emotionless face and its not as if they never put a foot out of line themselves. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Its just way crazy, i dun get it. How could ppl be so self righteous??? I really really cannot accept this. Being clean, sure. Overdoing things just suck. Im so totally sick of it. But like always im gonna be more keng again. Up things until they cannot find anything to belittle anymore. Can`t wait for the day i get my own place.

Aaaarrrggghhhh...........

Another thing, they love to protect the environment right? So self righteous bout it right? Kononnya 1st world mentality right..... then what about the tons and tons of toilet paper being wasted when you can use cloth? The aircon being on the whole day when it is not that hot. Come on lah, summer and ppl are wearing sweaters in class?? Using more plastic bags to throw rubbish when there`s this big movement going on bout using 'my bags' ?

Chicken wing ( my own swear word ) lah.........

And while i so syiok rant way, let me tell you lah.... today so keng i tell you! Someone lah, who promised wanna be a team one, help out one, who wanted to come to meeting together last time but did not come and had the nerve to tell me went edi, but nobody there. Please lah, meeting OVER edi sure got no one edi lah, so daring come and tell me nobody there with an innocent face, padahal i msg and called and reminded dunno how many times edi.... THAT SOMEONE LAH!!!!! Today kau keng, know got meeting pura-pura never say anything. Ok lah, its not as if that person would be of help anyway, i dun mind. After meeting right, come and pura-pura ask about it. Had to randomly pick a paper to see which location our tent would be today and i got a smaller tent lah. So told that person lor and you know what that person said???? That person said had that person went it would have been better hor. WHAT LAH!!!! After hearing that i straight wanna scold that person for all the stuff that i tolerated and tried to forgive. As if that person can surely get a big tent meh? So keng ah? Very lucky ah? Pissed man.....

Shit lah, all this cacat ppl.

Sigh..... feel a tad bit better nia after rant. Just a lil bit. Ok....ok.......

*start up nice thoughts*

*nice thoughts*

*Ohm....Ohmmm.........*